Would you like to change something in your life?
Change occurs when we stop RESIST and ACCEPT.
Now a days we are all looking for some change in our lives – be it health, weight, relationship, job, etc. Change seems so difficult, so demanding, so much work. Seems like it can not be done.
Well, it can! And it’s not that difficult as it seems.
That is if you don’t “resist” but ACCEPT.
It was difficult for me too
Same as for any of you, it was difficult for me to change, and I still, from time to time, have to go back to the
beginning and work on some resistance. I wanted to change. I’ve worked on it in many areas. I thought I’ve changed. Then, I’ve felt like it is slow and not showing the progress I hoped for, like I did nothing and like nothing is changed. I had a feeling like I’m going around, walking on some invisible circle that would led me right back where I’ve started.
Then I realize, I am doing what ever it takes, but in my mind I’m not in peace, I have no faith, no real trust (which is huge issue for all of us and we have to deal with it and work toward it all our lives). I’ve realized that I’m still wrestling with “why can’t I have that“, question which in it foundations is nothing but resistance. We are in charge of our lives and we create our lives, but we don’t know exactly what is on our path in future. We can only create feelings that will manifest in our future, but how exactly our life will look like, that, we don’t know. No one can tell us with certainty and there are no certainties in this life. But, there is no need to know.
All we need for having that peace of mind is to accept what it is.
Why is hard for us to accept what it is?
My experience showed me that it is very important to make a decision. Decisions are our biggest problems, or better to say, indecisiveness. We always wonder did we make right decision – it’s, literally, killing us. Yet we try to make a decision based on the goal or some idea or some image in our mind that we made as we would like it to be. Nothing wrong with it, just, what we would like does not depend on our decisions but feelings.
We all want to be happy – right?!
We all yearn for that careless feeling. We would all like to get up from bed in the morning with smile on our face. Well until we stop asking that crucial question “why can’t I have that“, it will not happen. The only way to happen, in my experience, is to accept what it is in this moment.
Now you will say:
How can I accept that I’m fat?
How can I accept this lousy job?
How can I accept that I don’t have a job?
How can I accept my mother nagging all the time?
How can I accept that he criticize me all the time?
and so on and so forth…
How accepting is changing your life – it’s changing how you feel
Whenever I had a problem, whenever something that I didn’t like was happening to me, I would get ill. I noticed that I got ill because I was “worrying” about what am I going to do and how am I going to do it, and blaming others, life, myself, for putting me in that situation and making it so difficult for me.
In other words, illness was my way of escaping, my way of running away into illness so that I have good excuse to feel sorry for myself. While, in fact, I was feeling sorry for myself cause I had to make some decision and yet I’m not sure that that or any decision I would make will be “the good one”, “the right one”. Lack of trust – but that is
another topic/issue for some order article.
The illness or “not feeling good”, would disappear, like some miracle happened, the moment I would accept the situation that I’m in as it is. I would calmly start thinking:, “ if not that, what possibilities I’m left with in these new circumstances, new light, what it can be like”? I would start thinking of worst possible scenario and realize that that what we call and think about as “worst possible scenario” in fact it doesn’t have to be that bad – there is always a solution that will fit our needs. And I would finally regain my calm and normal peace of mind, thinking, “well there are other possibilities“.
The moment I would make a decision – whatever, whichever – in other words, accept the possibility that things go different way for me, I would start feeling better and my mind become peaceful and my thinking became more positive and optimistic. So what happened there – from one moment to another?
Acceptance is just a simple shift from negative feeling, feeling of despair and hopelessness to positive feeling, feeling of peace and hope.
In my opinion, one of the main reasons we get ill or have any dis-order in our body, as well as any other problem in our lives, is self-pity. That self-pity comes from our belief that someone else is making a moves in our lives instead of us, that we are only a victim of circumstances or God or whoever we consider God for us (parents, brothers, sisters, friends, boss, etc . Belief that someone else is in control of our lives, someone else has power over us and our life but we. Thus, we feel like there is no use making any decision about anything, for whatever decision we make, things will be “the way someone else wants”, anyway. It’s always their way!
Well it’s not. It’s always our way, just we need to let it unfold and learn to believe that in each and every moment of our lives all is good, all is exactly as it should be for our own good, for us to learn the lessons we need to learn in this life time, lessons that we choose in a first place.
Abraham would say, stop going upstream, turn downstream.
Accepting, doesn’t mean making a new scenario for current problem, it’s only examining other scenarios. It means let it go and let yourself go with a flow, flow of life and do things according with what life puts in front of you.
Accepting doesn’t mean we should do nothing – accepting is a state of mind, not action, but with accepting we get peace in our minds not a permission to lay down and way for things to happen – sometimes, laying down and waiting is good think, as stepping away from “life” in order to let things unfold, but not in a sense of rebellion. Accepting should be peaceful process, process of finding a peace within us about some situation. Accepting means “not worrying” and “not getting upset” but let your HIGHER SELF, the Universe and God (who ever you like or use to put your trust in/at or whoever you consider and trust as your helper – if you have any; or if you don’t, you can use yourself as helper, trust yourself, your inner guidance) just trust that things are exactly as they are suppose to be and that all is good. Anyway, who ever you trust, let it take care of HOW and WHAT NEXT. Acceptance is making peace with yourself that all is well in your life, just the way it is. The rest – “your helper” will take care off.
Louis L Hay says:
When you have a problem that you can’t do anything about at the moment, just say to yourself: “I’ll think about that tomorrow”. Tomorrow (Universe) takes care of itself anyway.
This line helped me loads of time and still does. I just leave it for tomorrow and it helps me calm down and go ahead with my day chores or pleasures in lighter and easy way. And tomorrow does take care of itself, indeed.