Compassion and empathy for friends and relatives – petition

 Compassion and Empathy for friends and relatives

 I did not get any petition, so far, that would promote compassion and empathy for friends and relatives– for people close to us, for people who we are supposed to be close with, in this life time. Did you?

It seems that goes without saying, but you know as well as I do, it is not true. We are singing partitions for all kind of causes, for animals and stuff. Our compassion and empathy for friends and relatives is less than for animals, if we show any. There are, although rare, cases when we do show compassion and empathy for people close to us – and I congratulate, each and every one of you who shows compassion and empathy.

 I bow to those

I have got, by e-mail today one of these petitions titled: COMPASSION AND EMPATHY FOR ANIMALS

God knows how many of these I have signed so far. I love animals. But, this time, it made me mad and sad – not cause I don’t want to support animal right or some cause for animals.

It made me mad, how come there is no petition for people that are close to us, our friends and relatives!!!???

We are supporting some people we never heard of or we do not know or will never get to know, and yet …..We concentrate on higher causes, on big picture, on everything that will distract us from what is in our own backyard.

Are we going to take of those “pink glasses“?

and start treating each other with the same thing we fight for animals – compassion and empathy? Do not people, we are surrounded by, deserve the same as animals? Are we going to stop resenting or hold a grunge for someone just because they are not as we are or as we would like them to be? Do not people, we know, need help and care and love?

Are we going to start calling our friends/relatives just to say hi and see how they are coping with everyday life and problems? Are we going to start pay more attention to our friends and relatives when they are in pain – physical or emotional, or in any kind of need, and stop running away like nothing is happening?

Couple a years ago I was in real bad condition – with my Agoraphobia and finance and all was down the drain for me. I had 10 people or more than I “called my friends” and 10 or more relatives at that time. I had problems staying home alone and couldn’t let my mother go out and leave me alone. Then there were days when both, my mother and I, were ill and had no food at home – no bread or we couldn’t get up to make some food or get some food. Then there were days, after my mother died, I was alone in my home, going through panic attacks all alone. And so on and so on – I know most of you have similar situations you can think off in your life– right?

Well, in these situations people expect us to call them and ask for what we need – right?

And I did. Some would say it is not good time for them or have some obligations or whatever was the reason for not being able to help – and it is OK. Eventually, I would find someone who would come to my aid – that day.

But what was strange, at least to me, is that none of the people I have called day before did not bother to call me next day or two days after to ask how did I manage, do I still need help, or whatever, just to check how I am.

Person in need can think:

I have 10 friends and 10 relatives, if they organize I would never have to go through these situations alone and I wouldn’t be that much bother to all of them, as if the same person comes to my aid all the time.

Well that is not happening in this life or it’s so rare that visit by an angel is more common than friends and relatives organize to help someone – they may for 7 days and then they disappear.

Example (and I am not ashamed anymore to say how bad friends I use to have),

I’m sending sms around the midnight asking people can someone come and sleep over because I do not feel good and they are sending me sms back telling me they are sleeping. And then the next day, girl is calling me and telling me that she turns off her phone during the night because she is getting up early for work, but even if she did got my sms she wouldn’t come cause she needs her sleep. I did not blame her at the moment, I’ve understood her, but the pain of her words stayed in my heart.  Is that what friend supposed to tell you?

Or should not she say:

Listen, I get up early for work, but if you would feel better I will leave my phone on and if you really need me, if you cannot find anyone else at the moment, call me and I will come down and sleep at your place. (I did not mention that she lives in a building next to mine)

We all have been in these situations, at some point in our lives, situations when you need help from friends or relatives – haven’t we?!

And if you were never in these kind of situations, do you really think it cannot ever happen to you?! Think again!

Now you may say, “but that is a friend, not a relative, you should relay more on your relatives not friends”. Well, when I look around, not just in my life, people help or care for each other very rarely and if they do, it is for a very short time, like they are looking for the way to get themselves out of obligation.

Well I don’t think this is how it is supposed to be and how we are supposed to treat each other.

I will tell you one good example, so that you don’t think I’m bitching here cause I was not lucky to meet right people.

I’ve called a friend to come with me to some land near my home that I loved to spend time at, because I’m afraid to go alone. He couldn’t come with me, had some chores and obligations to take care of. All other friends were busy too. I’ve managed to go there somehow – other friend has house there but also has 2 kids she has to take care of, so I didn’t want to bother her. It was enough for me (as help) that she  Friendships Don't Just Happen- Shasta Nelson, M.Divis there and I will not be alone. I called her on a cell phone and we talked all the way I was driving till I got there – that was a great help for me also. After a while, the storm started. I was happy that I was outside, didn’t mind the storm. My friend was afraid of thunder and lightning and she took the kids up to apartment, while I was down, by the garage and around the yard. By the way, I am not afraid of God, of storm – my Agoraphobia is result of me being afraid of myself, being afraid of the way I feel, cause when I feel bad (panic attack, nausea, dizziness,…)  no one can help me ease the discomfort. It does help if someone is present in case I cannot do by yourself what you need to do to get better, or just the presence of person gives me feeling of safety somehow, but that’s it – the rest is up to me.

The storm was really bad and as I waited for it to stop, it seems that stopping was not in storms agenda any time soon. I did not care. I was happy – out in the storm after long time of watching the storm only from my window – this was a heaven for me and great sign of my progress.

All of the sudden I get call from that friend that I asked to come with me. He asked me if I am still there and said he is done with his chores and coming. I was surprised  He had no car, rain was bad. And yet he is coming! He was totally wet by the time he came, so he changed and since it was getting dark, I start packing things in a car to go home. Later, when I asked him why did he come through that storm and rain cause he knew that, for me, going back home is not such a big deal – no panic attacks when I am on my way home (if I am not too far, of course), he said, “I thought you may be afraid with all that storm, so I came.”

I bow to his gesture.

So how about Petition for Compassion and Empathy for friends and relatives?

If you think we should show more compassion and empathy to friends and relatives share this and by sharing it remind more people of the fact that their friends and relatives need compassion and empathy same as they do, same as we all do, same as animals do.


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